Just For Fun Entertainment

Sun Maid Raisin Girl Takes Own Life
By JUDITH KOSTER, Associated Press Writer

KINGSBURG, Calif. – The country was stunned today to learn the Sun Maid Raisin Girl is dead. “Yes, it’s true” stated a company spokesman. “Following a series of hateful anti-raisin sentiment across the country and the direct attacks against our marketing campaign, our beloved Sun Maid Girl has taken her own life. “She left a note saying she could no longer live in a world where raisins were unloved and unappreciated.”

Local residents of the sleepy town where Sun Maid Raisin has operated for more that 100 years were shocked and dismayed. “I love raisins, “sniffed Ms. Roberta Halft while she tried to hold back her tears, “and I just can’t understand why these horrible people are so hateful to raisins!”

Sales of raisins and raisin related products have suffered considerably during this period as well. Supermarkets across the country have been sending back unsold and expired raisins and raisin products for weeks. Many are refusing to stock these products as well. Sun Maid Corporate office is fighting back. “We will not allow the death of the Sun Maid Raisin Girl be a hollow death. We will bring raisins back to the kitchens of this great country of ours, stronger than before. We will not allow this subversive campaign to continue!” vowed a company press release.

Funeral services will be held at Brewster Memorial Chapel in Kingsburg Friday afternoon. A eulogy will be given by her closest friends, the California Raisins.

Associated Press Writer Eric Gorn contributed to this report.