BBS Humor Digest Extract #2
Here is extract #2 from the April 1990 of the BBS Humor Digest. This post contains content of an adult nature. Think of an ‘R’ rating in the movies.
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Three school boys were discussing which way you enter heaven.
The first boy said, “You enter with your hands first because you’re
praying to God as you go up.”
The second boy argued, “No, no. You enter with your head first
because you’re thinking about God and God is in your mind.”
The third boy retorted, “No, no, no. You enter with your feet
first.”
Puzzled, the other two boys inquired, “Feet first? How do you figure
that?”
To which the boy replied, “Well, the other morning I walked in on
mommy and daddy, and mommy had her feet way up in the air as she was
screaming, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’”
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The young girl was having a heart-to-heart talk with her mother on
her first visit home since starting college.
“Mom, I have to tell you,” the girl confessed, “I lost my virginity
last weekend.”
“I’m not surprised,” said her mother, “it was bound to happen sooner
or later. I just hope it was a romantic and pleasurable experience.”
“Well, yes and no,” the pretty student remarked, “the first eight
guys felt great, but after them I got real sore.”
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Abbie and Patrick grew up together but hadn’t seen each other since
leaving high school. Patrick had become a priest and Abbie a rabbi. One
day Abbie went to visit his old friend. They were having a great time
talking over old times when Father Patrick remembered that he had to hear
confession. He asked Abbie to come along and see how it was done.
Soon after they were seated in the confessional, there came a tap at
the little window. A voice from the other side said, “Father forgive me,
for I have sinned. I had sex with two men last week.” Father Patrick
responded with, “Say ten Hail Mary’s and put five dollars in the poor box
and your sins will be forgiven.”
Shortly thereafter another knock and another voice saying, “Father
forgive me. I had sex twice last week with my boyfriend.” Again Father
Patrick responded with, “Say ten Hail Mary’s and put five dollars in the
poor box and your sins will be forgiven.”
Abbie asked Patrick if it would be all right to try one himself.
Patrick told him to take the next one.
Soon a knock came and a voice said, “Father forgive me, my boyfriend
and I had sex once last week.” Abbie replied, “Well, go out and do it
again. We’re running a special this week. Two for five dollars.”
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A young bull and an old bull were standing on a hill looking down at
a herd of cows in the field below.
The young bull, getting a little horny at the thought of all those
cows, said to the old bull, “Lets run down there and stick it to a few of
those cows.”
The older, and wiser, bull replied, “Why don’t we just walk down and
stick it to them ALL.”
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The BMW slips by the radar control post, quickly the officer pulls
onto the road for a quick on the fly speed check.
The BMW is driving oddly, every now and then, it slows, veers to the
side and speeds up again.
Curious by now, the officer advances to the BMW, and notices a male
driver and his female companion engaged in some activity besides driving.
Suddenly, the BMW veers of the side of the road, hits a tree and
slides to a halt. In the process the girl is flung from the car and
crushed against a cliff. The seatbelted driver stays with the car.
Humor Digest - April 90
Sexual Jokes
The officer rushes to the girl only to find that she is beyond help.
He then runs to the BMW where the driver is moaning and bent over. The
officer says: “Hey fella I got some bad news for you, your friend didn’t
make it through the crash.”
The driver keeps moaning saying “I’m ruined, ruined and it’s all on
account of her!”
The officer says again: “Look fella, I don’t know why you feel so bad
for yourself but your ladyfriend has just brought the farm!”
The driver moans back, “Darn it officer, I’d rather be in her place;
didn’t you see what she had in her hand?”
